im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
