i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
