Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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