Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
