You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
