I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
