She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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