I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
