i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
