Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize