if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
