I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
