After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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