No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
