Cold hands, warm shart.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
