you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
