let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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