Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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