Your face is a jimmy john
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
His nipple licking is glorious
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