I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
