she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize