Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Small penises have feelings too.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
