I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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