Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
