My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
