this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
