Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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