I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My vagina is very pro this idea
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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