my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
