That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
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Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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