Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize