White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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