He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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