All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
