Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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