I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
