My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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