we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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