He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
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Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
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Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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