My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
