I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
