Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
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Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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