Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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