I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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