I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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