Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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