I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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