I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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