Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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