If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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