I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
