I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize