The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
