I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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