he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
