Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
