i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
