Fuck appropriateness.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
