Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
