some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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