oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
