you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
