the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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